


All For Not

by lebunnylub



Category: KnB, Kuroko no Basuke
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, musician au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:52:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3693015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lebunnylub/pseuds/lebunnylub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise Ryouta has mastered 5 instruments by the age of 16, one would see it as an impressive life but it seems no one in Kise's life cares what accomplishments he achieves. Kise doesn't care either, he's searching for it, the one thing that will grab his passion and pull it out of him, he's going to find it, the joy of playing music and he'll lose himself to it. That's his one goal , he just hopes he can find his happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everyone Hates Him

The dead silence with a room full of people spoke volumes. It screamed actually, and a small child who was clinging to his mother looked on at the crowd of high school and middle school kids standing in front of a wall in the middle of the room where papers were tacked to a board. The child had a sister in that crowd and he waited with his mother for their sister to come out and tell them the news, hopefully good news. She had practiced so much for this competition so he was sure she’d get to at least place in this competition.

It was so silent and strained where all those people huddled together in front of that board that is until one sentence broke through, it was soft but held a deep rooted bitterness. “I hate him…” The voice choked out before a boy ran from the group.

“It’s not fair.” Someone added, a girl’s wavering voice that shook with frustration.

“He’s the worst.” Someone agreed and the group seemed to be moving away from an individual in the middle. A tall blond boy stood there, he didn’t look particularly happy nor angry at the words being thrown at him and the judgmental gazes he was getting.

“I hate him.” Was repeated by some other person who tore themselves away from the group just as the person before had done.

The little child looked on and watched the blond then looked at the people speaking so harshly. The little boy tugged on his mothers pant leg and bounced on his feet. “Mama, why does everyone seem to hate him?” He asked, a child innocence ever present and radiating.

The mother sighed and looked down on her child, she patted his head and smiled, sympathy and pity written on her face. “People are just bitter, and jealous. It’s an ugly thing but they aren’t bad people. The blond over there is Kise Ryouta, a genius musician who can play any instrument he wants. Others get mad at him because he can do what they’ve practiced so hard to do very easily. He can copy styles of playing, he’s truly a monster in the music world so people don’t like him.”

“They don’t like him because he’s good?” The boy asked as he tried to wrap his head around his mothers explanation. The mother chuckled and knelt down in front of her son.

“Yes, because they are jealous and they think he doesn’t work hard or love music. The worst thing a musician can do is play and not love music. If you don’t play with all your heart it insults others, it insults the music and it insults all those who play who have to listen to a music being played without love.” She said gently then looked over as her daughter, flute in hand, cheeks red and tears spilling over stomped over. The mother stood up and pet her daughters head before the young girl embraced her mother and cried with all her heart. The mother held her child and the little boy tugged on his sister’s shirt as he hugged her in an attempts to comfort her.

“I w-worked so hard!” She wailed into her mothers chest.

“I know.”

“I poured m-my heart out!”

“You did well, don-”

“He trampled over everything! I never want to play again!”

The mother grew silent, her motherly instincts began to rise and she couldn’t help but feel spiteful to the boy who hurt her child this way. She grit her teeth for a moment then tried to relax as she pet her child’s head to calm her.

“Lets go home, I’ll make your favorite.” The mother relaxed and just hoped her daughter would come to her senses and not quit when she still held so much potential. It was frustrating as a parent to watch their own child lose their light and motivation and once more it’s very frustrating to for everyone involve to know Kise Ryouta, the genius would be quitting.

Kise Ryouta, this would be the fifth instrument he’s learned and this would be just another group of kids and young adults he’s crushed. The thing with him is that he can copy play styles well if not perfectly after hearing them, he can use them as he likes and even mix them as he see’s fit. He’s a genius but he’s also cruel and cold because once he learns an instrument and plays at a few competitions he quits no matter the place he gets. Sometimes he gets first place, sometimes and second and sometimes third. It means nothing what place he gets but he’s gained a reputation for taking victory away from the hard workers who pour their all into the instrument and their love of music.

“I wish he never existed!” She seethed and her mother pulled away from her daughter eyes wide for a moment before frowning.

“Jealousy is an ugly color on you.” Her mother said sharply but low enough not to cause a scene, the words struck the daughter hard but snapped her out of her rash thoughts and made her grow quiet.

“Sorry, mama.” She whispered and her mother smiled gently before giving her a pat on her head.

“It’s okay, lets just go home, Saki.”

“Okay, mama. Come on Tobio.” The older sister looked to her little brother and the boy just jumped and tugged at her shirt before lifting his arms. She laughed, her face still had the tell tale signs of crying but she picked him up and held him close.

“You were really good, sis! You were!”

“Thank you.” She whispered to him and tried to smile more but it was obvious it pained her to be complimented after not making it.

“If you don’t want to play anymore for competitions then you can just play for me!”

“…I think I can still play for you.” She murmured softly but a soft smile shone on her lips. The mother watched her children happily before turning to walk out of the room to the car. They followed behind not knowing envious eyes watched them from afar, envious golden eyes stared at the family as bitter hateful eyes bore into the boy who had no one there to smile at him.


	2. Good Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration comes from the wonderful Anime/Manga Your Lie in April. GOM are all 16

Lucky, how lucky were they to be bitter and how lucky they were to have someone to comfort them. He wished for this, for that moment to say he tried his best and it wasn’t good enough and cry so honestly.

Oh, how he desired it, how he wanted to be comforted by a gentle mothers touch and be given whispered words of encouragement. He wanted it so bad but he knew he’d never get it, and its been that way for a long time. He only kept playing music because he felt his true calling was somewhere. He would find his passion and freedom in the music, he felt that deep in his soul, he just didn’t know what instrument would give him that freedom. So he searched and played and then moved on when he found that learning and winning garnered no happiness for him. He was going to quit the flute and go to the next instrument on his list and see where that takes him. 

From what it sounds like he got first place in the competition so he didn’t bother to search for his name and instead he turned and left without another thought. He walked alone out of the great hall and outside where the sun was still shining brightly, no one was waiting in the parking lot for him because he knew exactly how to get home. He sighed and started walking along the street with his things and watched as the sun slowly began to hide behind buildings and the blue sky was being replaced with oranges and pinks. The blond stopped and looked at the sky for a moment before sighing and looking forward as he continued down the street.

He wondered if his mother had watched him play, if she was in that audience and he had to wonder if she would say the same thing she said before when he won.

“Ryou-chan, I’m tired lets go home. I have a headache. ” Her voice rang in his head even though it’s been years. He was 10 at the time, he was 10 when he heard his mother dismiss him and his win. He thought she’d praise him, that’s all he wanted, that’s all any child really wants from their parents but she didn’t and as he got older he knew why.

His mother loved the piano and was great at playing it and when her little boy took an interest she was elated to teach him. Her two older daughters didn’t care much for it so it was nice one of her children shared her interest. They got so close but then it all tore apart because he was too good. Kise won and he didn’t experience a sadness like losing and his mother never got to comfort him. She used to praise him at the beginning but after a while it just became business, when he won it was no big deal and she was silent. She’d start complaining and then stopped coaching him all together, some days she didn’t even want him to play because she said his playing gave him a headache.

“Don’t play, it hurts my head when you play.” Her voice, it was so filled with strain and irritation, it made him not want to move from his spot where he stood. He thought playing would make her happy though, he thought that they could bond and speak to each other with the music. It was so fun at the beginning like most things but like the children in that hall looking over those sheets of paper he found out that jealousy and bitterness can tear people apart.

When he hears those spiteful whispers he remembers his mother, he remembers her voice and her looks that to him as a child didn’t understand.

“Do you hate me again, mom?” He spoke to himself gently and couldn’t bring himself to look up at the beautiful sunset sky. His question didn’t need to be answered because he already knew...

“Dai-chan! Don’t!” A young girls voice shrilled and before Kise could look to see the owner of said voice he found himself hit with a basketball to the back of the head and stumbling forward.

“Ow ow ow!” He grabbed his head and crouched down as he shook in pain.

“Look what you did! You hurt him really bad this time Dai-chan!” A girl with pink hair and pink eyes came running over to the blond’s side and knelt down beside him. “Sorry Ki-chan, he’s the worst.”

“Why does he have to greet me like that!” He wailed as he looked over to his lovely friend and she just laughed a bit before petting his head.

“I think he saw you looking sad and wanted to make it stop. He’s just too dumb to do it a normal way. I do think he means well....I think.” She gave an apologetic little smile and Kise huffed before reaching over to the basketball that hit his head. He grabbed it and stood up so he could turn and glare at the jerk who just did that, Aomine Daiki, a tall male with tan skin and dark blue eyes and matching dark blue hair. He was smirking as he approached the two and Kise chucked the ball back with all his might, Aomine easily caught it and started to dribble it at his side.

“Yo.” Was Aomine’s second greeting and Kise just groaned.

“Don’t ‘Yo’ me! You just hit me! I could have gotten a concussion!“ Kise snapped back and Aomine just chuckled a bit as the three began to walk down the street together.

“But you didn’t so I dunno why you’re whining.” He retorted nonchalant before giving a grin to the other boy, it was cheeky but it held this endearing quality that Kise couldn’t quite understand. He knew one thing and it was that he couldn’t stay mad at Aomine any longer, so he sighed in defeat.

“You’re so mean, Dai-chan! Mou, Ki-chan how was the competition?”

“Eh? I’m not sure, I think I won first place.” He answered truthfully and Momoi stared at him curiously.

“Didn’t feel like seeing it for yourself?”

“Yeah, but I could kind of tell with how others were acting that I got it, that or second place. It doesn’t matter too much anyways.”

“Will you continue playing?”

“Nah, I’ve been thinking that something else might be better for me. The flute is nice and all but perhaps some other wind instrument, maybe brass would be good. I have tried the saxophone but a trumpet would be cool too don’t you think?” Kise’s smile was chipper though he was trying to lighten the mood that he felt was growing heavy, Aomine’s smile had disappeared and the tan male was looking out at the sky with a bored expression.

“They’re so loud and intense, it’s quite like you!~” Momoi teased and Kise let out a small whine before laughing along with her

“What do you think, Aominecchi? What should I play next?” The blond asked and looked to the other with probing eyes, searching the other and waiting impatiently for the answer.

“Don’t care...” Aomine said and yawned out a bit.

“You do care Dai-chan, don’t be like that! Come on, you can think of something!” Momoi scolded and began to tug on his arm.

“Ow, geez Satsuki, you’re gaining weight! You’re gonna rip my arm off!” Aomine scolded which earned him a jab to the side from Momoi.

Kise laughed at the two and moved inbetween them to make sure they didn’t attack each other. “Momoicchi looks beautiful as always, gangurocchi is just being mean~” His voice was low and he tried to whisper this to Momoi but Aomine could easily hear them. Momoi and Kise chuckled with one another happily and Aomine glared at them,

“I’ll beat you both!”

“Kya!~ Run!” Momoi took Kise’s hand and started running, Kise laughed and ran beside her hand in hand as they went down the street, passing houses and street lamps as they went.

“Hah? You think you guys can out run me?” He didn’t feel like running but he was a bit insulted some skinny musician/model and his childhood friend could leave him behind. The tan male grabbed the basketball and put it under his arm as he ran after them and quickly caught up. He beat them to Momoi’s house and smirked triumphantly at the door.

“Stupid.” He stated with a smirk and folded his arms across his chest.

The two losers pouted at him which made Aomine smile even wider. Momoi huffed and stepped forward to push Aomine out of the way. “I’ll make us some snacks you guys know where my room is.” She gave Aomine one last little push before opening the door and walking inside. The boys followed after her and quickly pulled her away from the kitchen.

“We’ll make the snacks!” They yelled in unison and Momoi looked at them quite surprised they’d suggest such a thing out of nowhere when she could very well make the snacks herself and it was her house after all. They were very insisting so with a pout she went up to her room to tidy it up a bit as the two made the snacks. The two boys dodged a bullet on that one.


	3. The first peel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends are nice, best friends are real. Aomine is selfish in many ways but he understands more than he lets on.

The young Kise was so happy to get sheet music, new sheet music smelled so nice and he got to open up the crisp pages and look them over he grinned and the brought them to his mother. _“Mama! Play this!”_

 _“That? It’s a complicated piece you know!”_ She would say it and sound irritated but her smile shone bright because complicated or not she could play.

_“Mama can do it!”_

_“Ah, well...we’ll see.”_ With that she’d play, she practiced it a few times and then play it out for Kise. He’d sit and listen, sometimes he’d make up lyrics for it and sing along and sometimes his sisters would join in and together they all made a song together of their very own. The Kise household used to be full of so much warmth and song that one would think that it was the happiest family in the world. That was back then, but now if you walked by the house you would think it’s like any other. Plain, boring and just a family doing ordinary things day in and day out. It was silent and boring so it was all too loud and scary for Kise to be in. Even the music he created with the instruments he picked up couldn’t fill the silence and neither could a song. It was all too painful and hollow, so he was thankful to have his friends.

Aomine and Kise were in the kitchen preparing food, Aomine complained about having to do so much work as always but they both knew it was better with them doing the cooking instead of Momoi. Kise chuckled as he got the cups down and went to help Aomine with the food. “Ne, Aominecchi about my earlier question you didn’t answer. What instrument should I play?”

“Doesn’t matter, idiot.”

“Oh come on! It does matter, just tell me what instrument you like!”

“I don’t care for instruments either way so what’s the point of telling you?”

“....I just want to know.” Aomine’s eyebrows furrowed and the wrinkles on his forehead increased. How was he supposed to tell the stupid blond model Kise that the first instrument he heard him play was his favorite? Kise would never play the piano again after his mother’s death so there’s no point in telling him what he truly feels, it would be impossible for Kise.

“Just pick what you like best, that’s how it should be, right?” Kise chuckled and gave a nod at the others words and began to fill their cups up and bring out the plates.

“True, but I want to play something my friends will like to hear. You haven’t come to my competitions in so long...” The blond looked down into the cup and stared at his own reflection for a moment. “Is it because it’s boring or you don’t like the music?”

“Both.” Aomine replied lightning fast, his expression void of any mirth. He was serious.

“Mean! You could at least think on your answer!” Kise whined out and went to push Aomine that is until he felt a hand on his head. Aomine had pat his head and Kise was taken aback at the gesture that the fist he had raised to playfully punch the other fell to his side.

“I don’t like the music you play right now, it’s not the instruments.” Aomine said before taking the plate of snacks and turning to leave the kitchen. Kise stared at the others back and for some reason he wanted to cry because he had no idea what the other meant. Was he not good enough? Did he sound bad to Aomine in some way? Aomine only ever heard him play the piano and the violin...how does he know he doesn’t like the music Kise plays?

“A-Aominecchi!” Kise huffed and grabbed the drinks, eyes watering slightly but he kept a stiff upper lip as he followed behind Aomine to Momoi’s room. “You are cruel! I’m proud of my playing!”

Aomine huffed and sat down to start idly munching on the cookies as Momoi walked over and sat beside him.

“Is Dai-chan being rude again? You should just ignore him Ki-chan.” She said before reaching to grab a cookie. Kise rolled his eyes and set the drinks down on the small table in the room before sitting across from Aomine with a determined expression.

“I’ll show you, the next time I have a competition you have to come and see my hard work and genius. I swear you’ll be blown away!”

“Mhm, if it doesn’t intersect with a game or practice I think we can manage it.” Momoi added idly and looked to Aomine who seemed to be off in thought as he stared at the floor. The room grew silent and Kise felt tense all of a sudden, he was excited though, he wanted Aomine to see him perform again, he wanted to impress Aomine with his skills.

“I’ll go...if I get to pick what you play-”

“Deal!” Kise butt in quickly, sparkles were shining in his eyes and a smirk on his face. He felt assured that what Aomine would say would be something cool and fun and maybe just the instrument he needs to find his happiness. He didn't expect the other to say the one thing that would hurt him and neither did Aomine himself. It just slipped out but that's what would truly make him go see Kise playing.

“Piano.” Aomine muttered and the light from Kise’s eyes instantly vanished without a trace.

“Eh?”

"Dai-chan...” Momoi whispered and looked to Kise with worry written all over her delicate features because she knew out of all the instruments in the world that piano was probably the worst for Kise now. This was a sensitive subject and they all knew that so she had to wonder why did Aomine bring it up so easily and knowingly bring up bad memories for Kise. He was cruel.

“You heard me, I wont go see you play unless it’s piano. I will never want to hear you playing anything else, you already said deal so you gotta listen to me. Tomorrow I expect you to be practicing, your family still has the piano, right?”

“....We do but-”

“It’s a deal.” Aomine cut in with a smirk and took a cookie and shoved it in the others mouth. “Guh!” The blond grumbled and coughed with the cookie in his mouth and slowly began to chew and swallow it down.

“I-I can’t!” He insisted once he swallowed and Aomine simply propped his elbow up on the table he was sitting besides and rested his chin in his hand.

“Giving up before you even start? Tch, embarrassing.”

“I’m not giving up! I just don’t like it!”

“That’s your problem, you wanted me to come watch you perform right? Then get over it.” His words were cold and they stabbed into Kise creating so much inner turmoil and confusion that Kise wasn’t sure how he could even respond without becoming a mess right there. He greatly disliked piano because it caused him and his family so much pain in the past. He was sure he was doing his father and sisters a favor by not playing because everyone would just be reminded of the person who truly loved piano.

“I-I’ll...” Kise swallowed hard but he grit his teeth and gave a nod. “I’ll think about it.”

“Were you always so wishy washy?” Aomine asked and gave a light chuckle, he was smiling and he was smiling in such a way that Kise couldn’t even be upset because it was a glowing smile that hardly anyone ever got to see and it was directed to Kise. It seems like Aomine was proud of Kise for at least considering trying to play piano again and that touched the blond more than anything else and might be enough to get him to play. A part of him knew it wasn't so simple but he couldn't help it when his heart beat fluttered and the adrenaline started coursing through him. 


	4. Yes and No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some friendships start sooner than people realize and music is able to connect others together or break them apart.

When Aomine and Momoi were 11 years of age their parents took them to a piano recital. They sat there and fidgeted the whole time, Aomine actually fell asleep that is until a boy their age with golden yellow hair took the stage. He bowed and showed a big bright smile and he stared off into the crowd for a moment before going to his seat. He was what they called a genius and Aomine who had never really found an interest in music was now in rapture of the song the other was making. It was inspiring, beautiful and warm. It was like the best hug in the world.

It was dead silent because no one could even remember to speak as little hands worked nimbly at the ivory keys and Aomine who could care less about music found himself unable to tear himself away from staring at the boy. The music was light and playful and it held such a brightness to it that Aomine could swear he could see shooting stars. He didn’t bother to ask if Momoi had seen the same thing he was, the fact tears were streaming down her face was answer enough. It was hard to understand what was so moving about this boys playing but he couldn’t stop watching and his heart wouldn’t stop pounding, the goosebumps prickled up and soon tears were spilling over as well. He wasn’t sure why, this song wasn’t sad but he couldn’t help it.

His mother had noticed but said nothing, she was having a hard time not getting emotional herself. The song grew into a sweet lullaby full of love and tenderness that soon everyone in the room felt a warmth and care they hadn’t before. It was like being cradled in their mothers arms, it was like they were kids again. Even the elderly find some new sense of youth despite their long years weighing them down. Kise's playing at this affect of giving people strength they may have forgotten they had, it was that kind of playing people admired and loved.

After it was all done with Momoi and Aomine didn’t clap because they were still stuck in their emotions and the world Kise had created with the music. Kids are more easily affected by song so it only makes sense they have a harder time forcing themselves back into reality especially when they were just in such a warm loving place.

Aomine remembered that moment to this day and he remembered leaving with his mother and Momoi, and his legs felt numb like it was if he was walking on a cloud for a long while. He had no urge to be a pianist because his true love was basketball but he wanted to hear it again and he wanted to see that boy. He thought of giving piano a try and it was easy to say he was doing it just to support Momoi who seemed determined to learn. He quit after a while since he was no good and Momoi followed after. He’d have to find Kise another way or maybe he was doomed to just be some fan. When he heard of him in middle school he made sure to find him right away and greet him the only way he knew how which was throwing a basketball at his head. 

The tan male was surprised at Kise’s huff attitude at first but as time passed he realized that the boy was like the music he played, a little silly and little weird and very warm. The three became close and would go see each other compete whenever they could, on the weekends they’d go to Kise’s house and play basketball out in the street until it was dark then come inside to listen to Kise play. Some nights Kise and his mother would even give a duet and the whole family would listen then they’d all eat together. Aomine and Momoi who are the only child of the family finally realized where the warmth comes from in Kise’s playing. That’s why when Kise’s mother passed they understood why Kise decided to change instruments and they understood- painfully so why when Kise played something all the warmth was gone. After listening to one violin competition Aomine vowed never to listen to Kise play another instrument again, not after knowing what the other was capable of, it literally hurt to listen to Kise’s playing for him though he’d never tell.

Aomine understood the pain of losing something you love but no matter what you need to push through. It’s been years, Kise can play again he can find that passion again. He just had to...even if he didn’t want to.

Sometimes you don’t know that you’ve found something you love and after all that Kise has gone through maybe he doesn’t want to admit it, maybe he’s really hoping it’s not piano even when he knows deep in his heart that it is. He’s just running and has been for a long time so it’s time he stops, no more running. Friends are supposed to be supportive but they’re also there to slap some sense into each other when it calls for it.

Kise was anxiety ridden  as he walked home alone from Momoi’s house after hanging out and 'trying' to do their homework. With a sigh he looked up at the sky wondering if he could really do this. He wanted them to see, he wanted his friends support. He just really wanted someone to be there and smile at him like they are proud of him, was that too much to ask for?

Maybe he was too selfish for his own good but when he got home he greeted his sisters and father before going to the back room. It was dark and the air oddly thick from not getting any ventilation, it looked cold and abandoned which it was and has been for many years now. With a heavy heart he walked over to the piano and removed the sheet covering it to protect it from dust, he inhaled deeply before lifting the fallboard and finally looking at those ivory keys that used to glow with such warmth but in the dark and strained moonlight they looked ice cold to the touch.

“It’s okay now...?” He questioned softly and with a shaky finger he gently pressed a key. He exhaled the breath he had been holding the whole time before sitting down on a dusty seat and placing his foot on the pedal. His hands shook as they hovered over the keys and his mouth went dry.

“It’s okay, isn’t it?” He whispered as he leaned closer to the keyboard. It’s okay to be selfish once more, right? Playing again might upset his family, it might open old wounds they’ve been trying to heal but it’s okay if he tries again, right? Even if they didn’t come to see him as long as his friends did and they smiled at him then it would be worth it all...right?

_“Mom, why do you play piano?_ “ A young boys voice chimed curiously.

_“To be seen...”_

_“I can see you mama!”_

_“I want to be seen with peoples hearts.”_

_“Hearts?”_

_“Yes, I want people to see my heart, to feel it, to hear it. I’ll show it to them with all I have so they never forget.”_

Kise played a few notes before his shaking fingers made it almost impossible to continue, they shook so bad it almost hurt and he clasped them together as he leaned forward. He remembered her words, to play so she’s never forgotten but Kise wondered if he could have that same dream. When he played people didn’t hold love or admiration in their hates, instead hate and detest. Why would he want to be remembered as someone who hurt and destroyed others dreams. He had no right to play...

_“You’ve been selfish, all this time.”_

It sounded like a whisper at the back of Kise’s ear and his eyes widened as he turned to see if someone was behind him but saw nothing, just emptiness. His heart was racing and he looked to the keys before putting the fallboard back over them and covering the piano once more with the sheet.

He left the room and closed the door gently but when he turned around to walk back to his room he saw his father who stared at him solemnly and the hint of disapproval evident in his eyes. He didn’t want Kise to play either so maybe the least Kise could do was not play at all even though it was there, his happiness was somewhere in music.

 

 


	5. Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow Aomine seems to care more than he likes to let on, Kuroko understands perfectly but the boy isn't as kind.

Kise woke up late, oh how he hated mornings the most and it didn’t help today there was a big test in class. His legs carried him down the street to the school as quickly as they could, he saw a few students still hurrying to the school so he knew he couldn’t possibly be that late. Without stopping he ran up the stairs and down the hall at break neck speed. He threw open the door and put his hands in the air. “Made it!”

“Ahem.”

Kise shrieked and quickly turned to look behind to see the teacher right at the door, his gaze bored and rather unimpressed with the blonds yelling and shouting. Kise smiled and gave a bow before hurrying to his seat to sit down and  he proceeded to get his stuff out to be a good student or at least pretend to be. He opened up his notebook and most of it was filled with music notes and other random doodles that weren’t very good to say the least. The blond stared down at his notebook most of class and occasionally looked outside the window to spot falling leaves gliding in the wind. It was a nice look until the teacher caught him and smacked him on the head with a handful of papers.

Students would snicker but for the most part everyone kept to themselves unless they wished to be reprimanded by the teacher as well. Kise went back to just doodling in his notebook and composing some song, he didn’t understand what for but he felt he should just make it anyways, create some type of song for the fun of it.

“Kise-kun, you’re writing too loudly.” A soft voice floated into Kise’s ear and interrupted his thoughts causing Kise to jolt a bit in his seat. Kise looked back to Kuroko with a pout because he had forgotten the other sits behind him in class even thought they’ve been like this all year.

“Y-You scared me- I’m not writing that loud.” He whispered to the other smaller male before turning his head back to face the front so the teacher didn’t come over.

“It’s loud, you should pay attention to what the teacher is writing for a bit.” Kuroko suggested and Kise huffed.

“I am…”

“What did he say was due this Friday then?”

“U-Uhh, easy…the….the…homework stuff.” Kise grumbled and looked to his notes which were only consistent of music notes. 

“….”

Kise smirked and figured he was right because Kuroko didn’t say anything in return so the blond turned a bit in his seat to see the other properly. “I’m right, aren’t I~?”

The bluenet remained quiet and moved his gaze from Kise to the figure standing just beside Kise who wore a disapproving scowl. Their teacher was watching them, more so Kise and he looked to Kise’s notebook before taking it off the others desk.

“H-Hey!” Kise shouted and looked to the teacher before shutting up quickly and mentally cursing.

“Ryouta-kun, this Friday you have due festival ideas and also submissions for individual show entries and with the looks of it I can put you down for a musical piece in the individual show.“ The old man was smiling and Kise paled a bit as he gave a nod.

“Y-Yeah, enter me! I’d love to play for the school!” He exclaimed back with a smile and the teacher could only sigh and gave a nod, Kise was a hard student to handle and he always had something to say back. He wasn’t a bad kid just a little odd, kind of like his friends are.

“I see, well by Friday I’ll need to know what instrument you’ll play and the name of the piece you’ll be performing.” 

The bell rang and soon all the kids were bustling about, Kise shot up from his seat, grabbed his things and grabbed Kuroko by the wrist. “Got it~!” He shouted and ran out of the room with poor Kuroko being dragged behind. He dragged the smaller male all the way up the flight of stairs to the roof top where Aomine and Momoi always ate lunch, where the four of them always ate lunch together. Kise looked around and didn’t see anyone and could guess he was early.

“Let go, Kise-kun.” Kuroko’s voice was calm but colder than usual and Kise let go of Kuroko's wrist right away.

“Sorry sorry! I just got excited! I’m super hungry. I guess Momoicchi and Aominecchi wont be here till later, huh?”

“It seems that way.”

“Uhm, e-excuse me.” A small voice floated over and the two boys turned to see a girl, with short brown hair and brown eyes looking at them shyly, her cheeks red and it seemed she was unable to look them in the eyes.

“Oh sorry! Were you planning on eating here? You can come eat with us if you want!” Kise said happily and walked over to the girl with a bright smile, she jolted and turned away before shaking her head.

“Thanks but no thanks!” She shouted out unexpectedly before running to the door and proceeded to run down the steps. Kise stared after her in shock then scratched the back of his head. He looked to Kuroko who looked to him with a blank gaze Kise couldn’t quite read.

“What was that about, I wonder.” Kise murmured and Kuroko let out a sigh.

“You came on too strong, Kise-kun.” 

“Me!? I was just being nice!” The blond retorted quickly, Kuroko remained silent and simply proceeded to sit down and get out his lunch. Kise stood their pouting for a while before he decided he might as well join him. The blond got his bag and started to get his lunch out when his phone buzzed, he wasn’t expecting any calls so it might be a fan girl but when he looked at the number he quickly answered.

“Momoicchi! Where are you? I’m with Kurokocchi right now on the roof.” He paused and his hand clenched tightly over hos phone. “Oh?” Another pause and he felt his body shudder. “Y-Yeah, we can go there…yeah…yeah. Okay, see yah.” His voice was a bit softer and he turned to Kuroko was a forced smile.

“It seems they want to eat in the music room.”

Kuroko blinked as he looked Kise’s expression over before giving a nod and starting to pack his things up. The blond next to him was surprised the other was so willing to just pack up and move again, he was sure Kuroko would simply want to stay put and then Kise would have an excuse to stay with him but it seems nothing was going right today. Kise sat there, even when Kuroko had finished putting his lunch away and was standing the blond did not move.

“Lets go, Kise-kun.”

Those words made Kise’s heart race for some reason and swallowing down the wave of anxiety that he felt the blond put his stuff away and got up as well. “Y-Yeah.”


	6. Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A curse? Maybe. Some things just don't go away, grudges don't just fade.

He walked as if he was walking to a class in which there was an exam he didn’t study for was waiting for him. Kuroko didn’t mind Kise’s easier pace and for the most part wished Kise walked like this everyday but the smaller male knew the lack of enthusiasm was for one thing only and it was what Aomine was going to say when they got to the music room.

“Play.” The tan male huffed out right when the two entered the room before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“I tried to stop him but he was too stubborn for me. Ah- Tetsu-kun!” The girl forgot all about trying to comfort her friend or stop Aomine from bullying Kise and went straight to Kuroko to hug him close like she always did.

“Momoi-san, I almost dropped my lunch.” The bluenet said and Momoi detached herself from him and gigged softly.

“I would have shared my bento with you~”

As Kuroko tried to think of how to get out of this situation the two other males in the room were glaring at each other. A silent war was happening between them and it was just with their eyes that one can instantly tell they were both unwilling to back down. Kise glared and Aomine glared right back, Kise’s eyebrows furrowed a bit more and the lines on Aomine’s face increased. Kise grit his teeth and Aomine’s eye twitched as their staring match continued even after Momoi and Kuroko had sat down to eat their own lunch and simply watch the two. Momoi was happy just to be watching them, she found it amusing how stubborn her childhood friends could be and it was really heart warming that Aomine of all people was trying to push Kise because Aomine rarely tried to push anyone.

Once Kuroko had finished a portion of his meal he cleared his throat to hopefully get the two idiots to pay attention. It took a second but they turned to Kuroko to see what he was going to say.

“Kise-kun, is doing a solo piece in the festival.” Kuroko just wanted to add that bit of information which led Kise to gape as if he was betrayed while Aomine smirked widely and walked over to ruffle Kuroko’s hair. 

“I never made anything final! And I certainly didn’t say I was playing piano!” The blond wailed which gave Aomine incentive to grab him by the wrist and pull him over to the piano, he pushed Kise down and let out a low chuckle. “Play, idiot musician.”

“I’m referred to as a genius by most!” Kise huffed indignant with how things were playing out against him so easily. He pouted as he stared at the ivory keys in front of him and tried to steady his rapid beating heart. He felt so nervous and so lost, it was going to feel wrong to play wouldn’t? He didn’t deserve to play when he stole someone’s happiness, he stole his mother’s light so he didn’t deserve to play. His family didn’t want him too do it either. He couldn’t do this after all, he just can’t even though he wants his friends to see him play he just can’t do this.

“Come on-”

“I-I can’t.” Kise murmured and held onto his own hands and looked down, feeling the weight of guilt and despair double in his chest. He felt like he was going to be crushed any second.

“Geez, not like it’s that hard!” Aomine huffs and plops down on the  bench seat with a frown adorning his features. Aomine’s long fingers splayed over the keys and Kise looked over them then to the others face which seemed to be deep in concentration and he hasn’t even started playing yet. He must be trying to think of something to play because he probably didn’t think this far ahead but he was cocky about it before for some reason or another. Kise couldn’t help but smile and suppress the urge to tease the other before he started playing.

It was so amazingly awful that Kise wanted to laugh and he had to turn his head away. His ears were being grated upon by this botched version of twinkle twinkle little star and he wasn’t sure what was the worst of it. Maybe it was the way Aomine only used one finger on each hand for the most of his playing or it could possibly be the bad tempo that went up and down as he played. There were some parts that Aomine must have known so that’s why he sped up but the parts he forgot he slowed down and just randomly hit keys. Kise was a musician so he didn’t say anything or stop the other because it was respectful to wait until Aomine had decided to stop. The blond eyed the other two in the room who held coy smiles on their face as well. 

When Aomine was done Kise chuckled and with how red his face was it showed he had been holding in his laughter with all his might. “W-Where did you learn to play like that? Pffft- it was pretty good!”

“Dai-chan and I took lessons when we were kids! I’m surprised he remembers that much or any at all! He didn’t like lessons back then but he tried his best every time and then he’d get frustrated and run off to go play basketball.” 

“Shut up.” Aomine hissed and glared daggers at her for letting that spill. He never wanted Kise to know he took lessons, it was a matter of pride that Aomine swore to himself once he really got to know Kise. He would never allow  Kise to know that he looked up to him in any way.

“I’m glad I got to learn something knew about you, Aomine-kun.”

“Jesus christ, Tetsu just forget I did this! It was a long time ago but it proves piano is easy.”  Aomine huffed before he glared at Kise to say something and prove him wrong. Kise was a little too smart to bait into that though so the blond just let out a laugh and shook his head.

“You’re going to piss a lot of people off saying that but for a guy who never practices for years that was pretty impressive I’ll say. You hit the keys way too hard though.”

Aomine smirked and with one finger he pounded on one key over and over. “Then show me how.”

Kise glared and pushed the others hand away from the keyboard, Aomine just moved his other hand and started hammering at another key.

“Stop that!”

“Make me.”

“You can’t treat an instrument like that!”

“It’s just some wood and strings.”

“It’s more than that!” Really, that was infuriating! An instrument when loved properly had a life of it’s own. The harsh tones Aomine was making with his pounding finger was cruel to the piano.

“Then prove it.”

“Move then!” Kise scooted over so he took up more room on the seat and bumped Aomine off. Aomine chuckled as he let himself be pushed off and he stood there because he was going to watch and make sure Kise didn’t weasel his way out of this. Momoi’s eyes widened a bit and she seemed worried and excited at the same time. She might get to hear Kise play and he might play like how he used to or he’ll play like a robot just copying others with no heart or feeling. She hoped he’d play with his heart like he did so long ago, all she could do now was hold her breath and hope.

Kise took a deep breath and looked over the expanse of the keyboard before putting his hands up and resting them on the keys for a moment. Should he? Should he not? He didn’t deserve to play but Aomine just insulted music so it’s alright to show him that it’s wonderful right? It’s okay to do just at least this, right?

Taking the plunge he started to play, it was twinkle twinkle little star like how Aomine tried to play. It was simple and light, like the lullaby that is usually played but as he continued it stopped being the child music box version and turned into the Mozart version. It was childish, fun, light hearted and it danced like the twinkling of stars from where it got its name. Kise felt a warmth he hadn’t for a while and an excitement because he could see those twinkling stars, he could feel that cold crisp night where the sky was the clearest and getting painfully cold only to come back inside to warm up in a big blanket. He could see the stars as he got his hot chocolate and remembered the wish he made on the shooting star. Yes, it was all very clear and someone lovingly calls his name and tells him to cover over to her side. She’s sitting like a perfect picture and she takes his hands in hers and then puts them to her cheeks.

“ _Cooooooold! My Ryou-chan, a minute longer out there and you would have frozen solid!_ ”

“ _R-Really!?_ ”

She laughed and pat his head before shaking her head no. “ _Not really but you’d get sick!_ ” Her voice was chiding but held a pleasant loving tone to it that made Kise smile.

“ _Okay, mama-_ ”

Kise was brought out of his happy memory when he felt something, like an ache start up in his hands. His playing started to lose its bright happiness as the ache increased and soon it was a sharp pain. It hurt, it hurt so bad! 

The blond pulled his hands away from the keys and held them close to his gut as he leaned over as if trying to curl up and protect them.

“Ki-chan?”

“It hurts….” He said through grit teeth.

Aomine watched him for a moment and waited for Kise to say something more, to elaborate on it because Kise’s hands had been working fine for all the other things he played so why now?

“You should enjoy your lunch, you played really beautifully though. I was swept up in it!” That’s good enough was what she really meant, he didn’t need to push himself any longer. Momoi sent a glare to Aomine who glanced her way before looking back to Kise who hadn’t moved from his crouched over position. 

“Try again tomorrow.” Aomine ordered although his tone softer, he sounded almost bored but for the most part he was trying not to make a big deal of this. Maybe it was because it had been the first time in a long time Kise has played and his hands just weren’t accustomed to it yet. From what he heard at the beginning Kise’s piano was still so full of life and love that Aomine would go listen to Kise at any chance, if only the other could do it and move on from his past. 

Aomine walked over and got his lunch before looking over to Kise who still hadn’t moved from the piano. He couldn’t tell what the blond was thinking but obviously it was too much thinking. 

“Aomine-kun, perhaps you pushed him too hard.”

“Maybe…”

With a pouted Momoi hurried over to Kise’s side and knelt down and touched his shoulder. Kise jerked up straight and looked down at her, she just smiled gently and reassuringly to him.

“Lets eat before Dai-chan eats it all.”

Kise stared at her for a moment before slowly nodding. “Okay…”


	7. Strain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A musician never gives up no matter the pain.

His father had a talk with him, he seemed concerned but Kise wasn’t sure if he was actually worried for Kise.

“What are you planning?”

“Nothing…”

“If you do something reckless we’ll lose-”

“I wont do anything reckless!”

“You might open up the wound we’re all trying to heal over!” His dad snapped and Kise glared daggers back in response.

“Heal or just trying to forget!?” He yelled before shooting up from his seat and running to his room and slamming the door shut.

It seemed so simple but for some reason the piano held so much pain and grief for the family that simply touching it could tear everything apart. It was just a false sense of family they were trying to keep to be perfectly honest, they stopped being close and really caring for one another. As long as they don’t bring up their late mother then no one cares what the other does.

Kise was ruining their desire to live ignorant as if their mother was never alive and he was content with that because the memories hurt in more ways than the others knew.

He was too good.

She was jealous, he broke her spirit, he broke her heart.

He killed her. Her own son, her youngest child completely destroyed her.

Kise simply pressed keys and her world came crashing around her and her love that she once held for both her son and the piano faded and a cold bitterness soon overtook her.

It swallowed her mind and body then leaked out into house. No one was immune to her cold attitude and it brought everyone’s moods down every moment they were around her. Happiness left the Kise household and no one said it out loud but they all knew Ryouta was to blame.

It was selfish of him to play the piano but he remembered something during that time where it was always cold. There was a hint of warmth in one place, he has nearly forgotten but it was when he played the piano and he could play a song that was warm and it’d in turn warm him up inside and make him smile.

When his mother did die, he knew he had no right to feel warmth any longer. He had no right, she told him so…

So he cursed and wondered why Aomine had to push him? And why did he want to please Aomine? Why did he want to play for them? Is it because he’s a musician? Someone wants to hear him play and he just wants to make them happy and live in their hearts? That must be it because nothing else made sense. He wanted to live in their hearts

In a warm place, he wants to live in the warm place of others hearts.

Aomine was warm to him, Momoi was warm to him and Kuroko was warm to him. He wanted to live in their hearts and touch them in a way they’ll never forget. He just wants to make them happy, he wants to make an audience happy with a warmth even he hasn’t fully felt for himself. It was a strange desire but he couldn’t resist it.

The next day he went straight to the music room, his mom was a musician she taught him a lot and musicians don’t give up and they turn the pain into music. Stepping forward was hard but he’d do it…he had to.

“Sorry…mom.” He murmured under his breath as he started to play the piano again in front of his friends who he loved so much. He needs to play for them, the people living right now who want to hear him play. If people will listen then he will play!

It was just like breathing for him, his fingers flew across the keyboard and unlike yesterday he was playing with a little more energy. Everyone was watching him and although Kise didn’t look he could tell they couldn’t tear their eyes away from him. He was creating a picture with the music and they were taken to a new world by his hands. The power to create is such a powerful gift, he was grateful for his skills even though it has caused him pain.

“You don’t deserve happiness.” A whisper echod in his mind, it was sinister and cold and the warmth he had just created was withering away.

“You should never play again!”

Suddenly a sharp pain ran through Kise’s hands just like yesterday and both his hands felt cramped as if they were enable to move any longer. He brought his hands away from the piano keys as if they were the cause and held them against himself. He stared wide eyed at his trembling hands. “I-It hurts.” He whimpered.

“Ki-chan?” Momoi walked over and put her hand on his arm. “What hurts?”

“My hands, they hurt, they hurt so much.”

“Maybe you did too much too soon?” Momoi looked to Kuroko and Aomine for help because she was lost on what to do. He was playing fine earlier, he was playing beautifully but yet again he was in pain like yesterday.

“Aomine-kun, maybe we-”

“No.” Aomine walked over and pulled Kise off the bench by his tie. Kise’s eyes were watering which surprised Aomine for a moment but he hardened his expression and he glared at the blond male. “It’s in your mind Kise, don’t let it stop you. You’re not some old grandma with arthritis, you’re fine. You can keep playing, it’s better when you play. You’re happier playing and you know it.”

“A-Aominecchi, it does hurt a lot! I’m not lying!”

“…Kise. Don’t give up you idiot. You’re a persistent bastard so it’s weird that you just give up when you meet an obstacle!”

“….” Kise remained silent and looked down for a moment. Momoi moved closer and put a hand on his arm and Aomine finally released the others neck tie.

“Kise-kun, I don’t want you to hurt yourself in any way but Aomine-kun was right. You’re happier when you play piano.”

“Ki-chan has this warm smile and whole feeling around him!” Momoi exclaimed with a smile.

“I do? I’m warm?”

“Very!” She chirped with a happy smile and Kise felt a relief of tension when his hands seemed to relax.

“Do you guys feel warm too?” He asked with big brown eyes full of hope and curiosity. The trio looked perplexed then looked to each other before back to Kise.

They all gave a nod and Kise lit up like a kid coming down to see all the presents under the christmas tree. He was so happy, that he could warm the hearts of the people he care about most. The pain was almost completely gone now so he gave a nod and sat back down to continue playing.

He had the festival to prepare for, an audience was expecting a good performance from him and his class especially. He had his own expectations to meet and the words of his mother. She taught him a lot and was strict, he remembered crying a lot because unless he could hear someone playing the piece and see how their fingers move then he has a hard time dealing with music. His tempo is usually off and that was a big problem along with the fact he never really understood sheet music. He’s learned by now but his mother helped him a lot when he was little and she helped him learn how to put his soul into it. She was the one who started it all, she taught him the warmth and magic of music, it’s freedom to create a world in that music. She taught it all to him…

He missed her in those regards but he didn’t forget the pain and guilt she put him through. Her jealousy and hate she felt towards him was not overshadowed by her past love. She was his mother but to him he couldn’t say she was a good mother.

Once upon a time she was a real mother to him but forgiveness is earned and she made her last moments on this earth pretty clear that she did not even want to be forgiven. Neither was he, she’d never forgive him for stealing it all from her.

It’s hard not dwell on these facts, especially as he played the piano but if he got lost in the music then no bad memories could touch him. He’d forget it all and be free.

"I wish I never had you. I wish you were never born." The cold voice of his mother resounded by his ear, just ghosting by it and he could swear he could feel a smirk oh her lips against his ear lobe.


	8. False and Dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's not a single good thing Aomine Daiki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight description of NSFW situation.

Aomine was bored, he was tired and he was bored. Did he mention he was bored? The only fun he was having was remembering the past and bullying Kise. He could tell Kuroko and Momoi knew something was wrong with him but Kise was still oblivious to anything going on around him. The blond was stuck in his own world and his own issues.

Aomine didn’t want the other to worry because the stupid blond would worry about him and Kise didn’t need him nagging. Momoi was enough of a nag as it is and just seeing Kuroko’s expression added to his guilt.

The basketball practice was so boring, the matches were so boring, the challenging team was so boring! Everything was so boring he was loosing his mind!

The only peace he got was his Mai-chan magazines, eating, sleeping and the girl he’s having on the side. It’s so stupid when he thinks about it but it takes up time. Sometimes they’ll just meet and make out, he’ll do dirty stuff with her like fingering and letting her suck him off but they’ve never gone all the way. Actually, she’s been talking a lot more lately about doing more serious stuff or going serious, something like that he wasn’t paying attention really. He just knew she wanted more and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that so he decided to get some space.

He originally just wanted to help Kise, it would be a sort of help himself by helping others but it also worked out that the girl wouldn’t go talk to him if he was with his friends. She was so jealous, it was pretty hilarious because he told her many times that this was just to pass time, it was just a fling.

She didn’t get it through her pretty thick head though so she’d ask him. What his relationship with Momoi was and who he liked most and if there was a girl he liked.

Momoi was a sister to him, he liked Kuroko the most and no he didn’t have a girl he liked. He didn’t have any romantic feelings for any girl and especially not a girl who would do anything to get attention from a guy she was into. She would get over him soon enough.

She was a distraction from his pain. He wanted to play basketball, he wanted to have a ton of fun like he used to but he was sure it was impossible now. He hated this life, he hated getting up in the morning and having to let Momoi drag him to school. He hated walking by Kise’s house and not seeing the bubbly blond running out to meet him for basketball on the way to school.

He hated it all, everything has changed and there was nothing he could do.

Kuroko was trying to be a good support but to be perfectly honest Aomine didn’t want his friend wasting his time on him. He wasn’t worth it, he figured that much out and wanted to make sure everyone knew it, accept one. He didn’t want Kise to know because then Kise might not smile, he might not play and for some reason the idea of taking the others smile away just twisted him up inside. He’s heard about Kise’s pain, the past and all about the others mother. He wasn’t about to add another bad memory to the other. He wanted Kise to play and be happy and not worry about other people or trying to please anyone.

Aomine doesn’t want Kise to try to make him happy or fix him because he doesn’t know what’s exactly wrong. His emotions have just changed, he’s just changed...

If Kise could just go back to playing happily he’d feel like he accomplished something. It was a strange desire but at the moment it was probably the only solid desire and motive that wasn’t completely selfish.

There was a part of him doing this just to pass his time, a part of him just searching out someone just as broken as he is. It made him feel better in that way too.

Honestly, there’s not a single good thing about Aomine Daiki.

When he remembered that simple truth he found that girl, and used her as much as she could be used.


End file.
